It is now six weeks since I had open heart surgery and I am bored with myself as I am sure you are. ‘Not this again’, ‘get over it’, ‘move on’. I wouldn’t blame you. Life moves on but recovery can trail behind. 

All my lovely flowers have now died, the chocolates eaten and the Get Well cards put away. It should all now be done and dusted. The reality, of course, is that I may still have a way to go. The limitations on life are frustrating. You don’t appreciate how reliant you are on upper body strength until you can’t use it. I still am not supposed to drive, push a trolley or a vacuum cleaner or pick up any thing that weighs more than 10lbs. Walking the dog is completely out of the question. Being dragged along by 25kg of dog as he pursues a ‘friend’ is not going to do much  for my sternum.

I overdid it last week which resulted in my having to go back on stronger pain killers plus the worry of possible long-term damage. You don’t want to see  images of sternal repair. Fortunately things seem to have calmed down so fingers crossed.

I had a fairly idealistic view of how my recovery would be. The chance to catch up with reading and watching box sets as I slid effortlessly into good health. I didn’t anticipate the frustration and the worry. I also hadn’t appreciated the long-term implications of the surgery. Not the scar. I am not bothered about the scar. I will wear that with pride as a member of the zipper club. Nor the click of my heart. I am getting to quite like it. No it is the lifetime of warfarin that I find most daunting. A lifetime of watching what I eat and drink (limit of 2 units per day) and steering clear of  any activity that could cause injury.

But I retain a high level of optimism for the future. I start cardiac rehabilitation on Thursday. I know that compared to the exercise I have previously done it is going to be fairly basic but it is a start. I have also been told that following  that I can do a more advanced course at my local leisure centre. And this course is one I could teach if I qualify as a Personal Trainer and do a follow on course. Something to think about.

I am also looking at my diet. I have done a huge amount of reading since my diagnosis on my condition and how I could reduce my chances of it reoccurring. I want to develop the optimum diet that supports my training, prevents further calcification in my heart and keeps my warfarin levels stable. With the odd treat thrown in of course.

Hopefully I can use what I have learnt through this experience to help others. In the meantime I have to take a bit more time out to recover.

Now where is that box set?