I’m four weeks into an eight week programme to get rid of my excess body fat. It is not easy. I’m having to track everything that I eat and drink (MyFitnessPal is a wonderful app) and increase the intensity and duration of my workouts. But it is working albeit very slowly. Interestingly, I have lost hardly any weight. This is due to my lean body mass increasing due to the high protein intake and increased strength training. At the same time I have lost body fat due to the drop in carbs and fats and an increase in endurance training. They seem to have cancelled each other out. All good. But if I was relying on the scales to reward my hard work I would be very disappointed. Far better to rely on the callipers and the mirror.The next four weeks are going to see further reductions in carbs and fats and an increase in training. It is going to be challenging but I’m excited to see what can be achieved.

I’m doing it with my training partner, my daughter. Who whilst adhering to the nutrition side of things does not have the same commitment to increasing her training. But the drop in body fat she has achieved is very impressive. This tells me two things. Losing fat gets harder the older you get. And it is about the diet. You can’t out run, out climb, out cycle the diet. Exercise will protect what you want to keep but is pretty useless on its own where fat loss is concerned.

Another reflection is that I do view it as a challenge. I’m excited to see what I can achieve in much the same way that I’m getting excited about the Three Welsh Peaks challenge in two weeks. I’m taking myself out of my comfort zone (again). I blogged about this back in April. I was delighted to be tagged into a colleague’s Facebook post yesterday that she had me in her head when she swam the extra twenty lengths to get to the century. Well done to her. Progression is so important where fitness is concerned and taking yourself out of the  comfort zone can be exhilarating.

But climbing a mountain or swimming a hundred lengths is one thing. Can that be compared to my focus on getting a better looking body. Especially at my age. Am I being self absorbed? Should I be happy with what I have? Could I be doing something better with my time?

I appreciate how lucky I am to have the time and money to devote to what is essentially a project. Of course this hasn’t always been the case. For most of my thirties and forties I had a young family so both prerequisites were in very short supply. I did belong to a gym which I got to two or three times per week but wasted most of that time on cardio machines and doing numerous repetitions of light weights. I was unhappy with the way I looked but the other demands on my time and purse kept the body fat high and the urge to look in the mirror low.

With more time and money in my fifties and a better understanding of fitness I’m now far happier with my reflection. The wrinkles are a reminder that time is passing but I’m pleased with how strong my body looks. I could tell myself, and others, that it is all about health but of course it isn’t. Even at my grand old age I want to look good. Particularly in a bikini.

But there is an ever increasing view that somehow I’m wrong to feel this way. I should embrace my rolls. I should be liberated of any inadequacies that my muffin top may bestow on me. I should just be happy to run into the sea and jump around like a mad woman. Bearing in mind that the last time I ran into the sea I got knocked over by a wave and struggled to get upright whilst holding onto my bikini bottoms and my dignity. Not a pretty sight. I blame the rum cocktails.

It can be a challenging place to be. I want to be able to justify and even celebrate what I’m doing but at the same time support those that just want to feel happy in their own skin irrespective of the number on the scales or any other measurement. It often feels that I can’t do one without undermining the other. But I suppose it comes down to this quote that ‘the most important project you’ll ever work on is you’. We need to be true to ourselves. To achieve what is important at a particular time of our lives. And to support others in doing the same. Currently, for me this is about looking and feeling as good as I can at this stage of my life. This may not always be the case. I do have ambitions to become a mad cat woman in my latter years. Maybe then I won’t be so bothered about my subscapular measurement.