Time passes. We can’t stop it. But we may be able to slow down our perception of how fast it passes.

A few weeks ago I picked my son up from the house he has been living in during his final year of university. I felt a little sad for him. He had spent the last few weeks of his university experience in lockdown unable to enjoy the customary celebrations. But what particularly struck me was how quickly the time had passed since my husband and I dropped him off at ‘halls’ for the start of his new life. Where had those three years disappeared to?

As we get older it is an observation that is frequently made. Thanks to Facebook memories I’m reminded on a daily basis how fast time goes by. Usually I’m just bemused but on this particular occasion it scared me.

I reflected back to my 21 year old self completing nurse training. Those three years felt like a lifetime. I can still remember my experience more or less month by month. From my dad dropping me off at the nurses home to sitting my final exams. My first day waiting for the bus that took us to the school of nursing, meeting a girl that would become my best friend until her death 39 years later, my first day working on a surgical ward, my first experience of death.

I made friends. I fell in love. I had a lot of fun. I emerged a skilful, competent professional. It was a significant period of my life.

It is a sad fact that our perception of time does change as we get older. One study found that by the age of 40, assuming that you live to be 80, your life, in terms of your subjective experience of time, is already 70% gone. What does that mean for me as a 61 year old? 90%? Maybe more.

I don’t want the next three years to disappear as quickly as the last. I want my perception of time to slow down without my life slowing down. How can I make that happen?

I was a little surprised to see how much has been written about this subject. Books, journals, articles. You could spend a lot of time learning about time. But confining myself to a google search these are the top four things I will be doing:

Enjoy New Experiences

Last year I went on two holidays. The first was a short break to Barcelona, the second a beach holiday in Turkey. The beach holiday was nearly three times as long as the short break but as a memory the short break feels more substantial. We did so much. We rode on the open top bus, the metro and the cable car, we visited amazing places, we ate paella and drunk sangria by the harbour, we walked for miles. In comparison most of the beach holiday was spent lazing about on the sun bed, with the occasional dip in the sea or pool. Both holidays were amazing and I certainly won’t be giving up those long lazy days but if I want to slow down time I need to up my experiences.

But holidays are expensive and retirement brings a reduced budget. It does however give me more time. One thing I do want to do, and with my free travel card will be able to do quite cheaply, is explore London. I have bought Nicola Perry’s 33 Walks in London That You Shouldn’t Miss. I can’t wait to get started.

Make Meaningful Progress

Doing the same thing, in the same way will speed up your life. Familiarity not only breeds contempt it also speeds up time whilst novelty slows it down. Meaningful progress could be anything from losing weight, getting fitter, taking up a new hobby, learning a new skill.

I have promised my family that when I retire I will learn to cook. I’m ignoring their ‘please don’t’. I still have aspirations to do a pull-up and run a sub 30 minute 5k. I will run a marathon. And I may write a book. The important thing is to keep moving forward. To not stagnate.

Practice Mindfulness

The benefits of meditation and mindfulness are impressive. From improving the structure of the brain to reducing blood pressure, improving memory and concentration and reducing stress and anxiety. And now it can slow down time. What’s not to like. But I find meditation difficult. I’ve tried on a number of occasions to get into the practice but have given up when it felt I wasn’t getting anywhere. But this time I’m going to persevere.

I’m half way through a 30 day course using the Calm App. I do it the same time every day (late afternoon) and announce to my family what I’m doing so they don’t disturb me. I feel as if I’m getting there. I’ve had moments of startling clarity as well as the expected feelings of relaxation. More importantly the benefits are seeping over to the rest of my life.

Reflect

Our lives are so busy that often we get up in the morning and in a blink of an eye are turning off the bedside lamp. Followed by the same the next day. Before you know it Monday morning has become Friday evening. But spending a few minutes to reflect on what we have done, what we have learnt and what we are grateful for can take us off the treadmill and slow down the perception of time passing.

One way to do this is by keeping a journal. Journaling has been shown to have a lot of health benefits from reducing stress to improving asthma. When I was young I kept a diary which I hid from my mother. A few years ago I shared it with my daughter. That opened her eyes. Now all your secrets and desires can be password protected.

I don’t keep a journal but lockdown has given me time to reflect. And I do jot down thoughts, ideas and aspirations which I check in with.

It helps with my meaningful progress.