I’m just a few days away from one of the biggest decisions of my life becoming a reality. After 43 years of being an employee I will be a retiree.

I’m feeling a combination of excitement and anxiety. Excited to have the opportunity to try out new things and spend more time on my interests and passion. At the same time a little anxious that I’m going to miss my working life and what I’m replacing it with won’t live up to my expectations.

I’m fairly certain that I’d be feeling the same emotions if I was retiring in normal times but doing it in the midst of a pandemic puts a more complex spin on it.

I had planned originally to retire on my 62nd birthday. April next year. To take advantage of Summer unfolding. To sit in the garden when I wanted. To watch every Wimbledon match I fancied. Retiring at the beginning of Autumn is not the same. The garden is closing down and the days are getting shorter. Although not having to get up early on a cold, dark morning does have its attractions.

Lockdown did force me to reconsider my plans. On one hand I loved having the extra time when I would normally be commuting. But on the other I don’t particularly enjoy working from home. I prefer the separation of home and work. And I enjoy the social aspect of being in an office. It’s not the same through a screen.

The announcement a few day’s ago to ‘work from home if you can’ with the prospect of this being the situation for six months reinforced that I had made the right decision to retire. I would have found it mentally and emotionally challenging to continue working in this way well into 2021.

Retiring during a pandemic also puts paid to the usual celebrations. I’d have normally had a leaving do. I’d have had several lunch dates with colleagues and people I’ve worked with over the years. I am meeting up with my own team as we are less than six but otherwise the celebrations will be courtesy of Microsoft Teams and Zoom.

I have received some amazing tributes and messages. Really quire humbling. It has been brought home to me that I have made a difference. Not only in the things I have achieved but in how I made people feel. And at the end of a working life what more can be asked for.

So what will my first few days of my new life look like.

I’m off to a spa on day one. And then who knows. When I first gave in my notice I went into full planning mode as to what my new life would look like. As I considered my encore career I started writing a business plan. But if lockdown had taught me anything it is how manic my life had become. So I’ve decided to take a step back. To take the next 3 months off. To take time to read, write, crochet, exercise, watch box sets and just be spontaneous.

I’ll let you know how I get on.