I’ve been retired a year. And what a year it has been. Certainly not the one I had expected. When I gave my in my notice 15 months ago we were coming out of what would be the first lockdown. Although who would have thought that there would be another two. We were ‘eating out to help out’ and the weather was glorious. But I had had enough of working from home and as there was very little evidence that this was going to change in the short term I brought forward my retirement date.

Almost immediately we entered a world of tiers, lockdowns and the wettest October since 1711. And no opportunity to escape to warmer climes.

When I look back to those first few months of my retirement it feels dark and miserable. It was not how I envisaged  I would enter retirement.  No face to face celebrations, no holiday of a lifetime. But I have to hold onto the fact that my experience of those months were far more positive than many others. Nobody close to me died or was seriously ill with COVID. Financially my family weren’t affected by the economical impact of the pandemic. And we didn’t kill each other. It could have been so much worse.

It is only during the last 5 months that my life has started to meet my expectations. Although I have yet to step on a plane I have walked in Wiltshire and along part of the Cornish Coastal Path. I have climbed Snowdon for the third time. I have spent time in Torquay at the Agatha Christie Festival. I’ve been out with friends and family. And I am back inside my gym. Last weekend I participated in a 1,000,000 metre row for charity. I contributed 11,000 metres. 

One of the best things about a retired life is the matinee performance. I’ve already clocked up a few with others planned into next year (2:22, Witness for the Prosecution, Pride and Prejudice (sort of), Poirot and More, A Retrospective Tour).

It is finally started to feel what retirement should feel like.  I have the freedom to pursue my passions and interests without the confines of a very busy work diary.

But I can’t help feeling that I have wasted the last 12 months. My encore career has yet to emerge although I still have a healthy number of coaching clients.  But all pro bono. I was due to start university this month but it now has been deferred to April due to a lack of acceptances. It could be that I wasn’t the only one unhappy with virtual workshops. And I still can’t do a pull-up even though I’m the strongest I’ve ever been. 

Some days I’m full of positivity but on others it’s procrastination and anxiety. 

When I was working I had a strong sense of my purpose. I delivered on it, argued for it, thought about it. And not just during the working day. I didn’t have time to procrastinate. And whilst my anxiety would always bubble up in the morning it stayed well out of my way most of the time.

I now need to find the same feeling of purpose in retirement. For some having a good time is what retirement is all about. It certainly plays a big part. But for me there has to be something more. 

So is the something professional coaching or personal training? Or a combination of both? One of the motivators in going back to University was to explore why it is relatively easy to get big wins in career coaching  whilst getting clients to take action where their wellness is concerned is like wading through treacle. Should I focus on healthy ageing as this  is where I came in at the start of my blogging experience. 

One thing is certain. I need to take action. I can’t waste another year.